Should you ever tell a lie ?
An interesting book about being total honesty, we all lie like hell, we lie to our boss, our friend, our parents, our lover and ourselves. Lying doesn’t only mean we make up a story or false fact, but withhold information we should share. That’s make people suffering, we try to match the world with our expectation. We got to understand things changes, even truth changes: u might angry on a friend now but after 1 day you guys are okay, yesterday truth can be today bullshit.
Learn to doubt our own mind, world of experience is like a river, better off with a boat than hold on a post and let the water hit you to death.
Moralism is form of people find their identity, social dependent people take cues form external reference. We held on old lesson with old identity. There is a constant distance between who we think we are and who we really are. Moral-ism focus on more “good / bad “ than “alive / dead “.
Think about are we under a “role”. A role is not your being.
There are 3 levels of telling the truth / LEVEL 1: Reveal the fact / Level 2: Honest about current thoughts and feelings / LV3: Exposing the fiction, “tell the truth, living the truth”.
Language of being is “descriptive “, language of mind is “evaluate”. A word is just a label of picture, a word is abstractions. The vibe between “point out your though” and “make other believe you”, “sharing” vs “sales pitch”.
When we try to tell the truth, all the worst thing is in our imaginary, treat that as an expressive of feelings. Honest people speak to describe more than evaluate. yes its is not “normal” to tell the truth but how many “normal” people are happy ?Consider we lie to our-self about our sex drive, what we do about it ? Porn / Drinking / Suppression.
Human being can only aware 3 things – 1. Things happen now /2. Feeling & Sensation/ 3. Though and fantasies. We always get caught up in 3 – our imaginary scenario and all the fantasies. Consider intimacy and romance, when we are in love at beginning, we are out of our head we are in our body, that is a state of being.
Normal outline for therapist
- Feel him, list our his complaint
- Trigger point / massage to relax his physical tension
Resistance make pain to persist
Surrender make pain to decrease.
- Check on their relationship with other people / money and time, work on themselves not the problem
- Teach about self-hypnotize
- Gain awareness of yourself and trust your RAS will focus on making your body to auto-repair, it’s also called “organismic self-regulations”
What is different between wishes and the action in our lives, we might want one thing but keep taking action to step away from it. We scared of our “power” to make things happen. Also, energy only wanna to be invested to maintain who we are. We can only change by give up trying to change. By examine our subconscious to avoid changes, and lies about struggle get us “un-stuck”. Take responsibility and willing to expect you as the cause. Your prefect self, without any fault MUST DIE. Think about no goal behind an action, but only be present and let it work our of being with you.
We always want to have EVERYTHING, when we doing A, we think of B, we don’t have everything and this paralyzed us for choice. There is no right way to be right.
Overall is an interesting book, by reading that hopefully can make me more authentic and bring the realness to people surround me.