Why Women Have Sex : Women Reveal the Truth about Their Sex Lives, from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between) by David Buss and Cindy Meston

Yes there is a WHY


The book discuss most of the motivation of why women have sex in different aspect like psychological, evolutionary, biological drive behind the behavior.

Bio-chemistry of attraction

  1. Proximity : First step of attraction, Repeat contact with someone increase the odds of attraction.
  2. Deep eye contact : Mutual gaze created feeling of intense love
  3. Mysterious – feeling of unknown turn woman on
  4. Scent of sexiness, how someone smell is a very important factor Women benefit from people not smell like them, which indicate- this is not inbreeding, and the result children with better immune functioning.
  5. Height, Height is an honest signal of a man ability to protect
  6. Strong, athletic man, shoulder to hip ratio
  7. Conventionally handsome – that assumption of posses of other desirable trait
  8. Knee knocking voice – Women prefer deep, resonant voice over high pitch, as it indicate better body symmetry and body morphology.
  9. Larger, sweeping movement : A guy can take up space and do whatever he want, it indicate he should be in high status . Same sex touching – a man touching another man without reciprocity. Space maximization, movement, stretch his arm, extend his leg, open body position. As s shortlist of good body movement : Frequent short, direct glance of woman / space maximization movement / more location changes / more non-reciprocated touch / small number of closed  body movement.

There are 2 Key personality that motivate women have sex : Sense of humor and self confidence

There are 2 component of humor production (making jokes) and woman are attract to the producer, in other end there are humor appreciation ( laughing at the jokes), man are attracted to the woman who appreciated to the joke.

When we pair a mood to a particular person with multiple occasion, the person will elect the mood even not doing anything. Humorous Man are generally more socially skilled and confident, only man in high confidence approach physically attracted woman regardless of their level of attractiveness. Woman also use “mate-copying” , a choice of other females as basis of their choice. The motive of seeking close physical match of woman is mainly fear of rejection. Sexual preference can be conditioned, by associate a certain partner feature with satisfying sexual experience.

Skin is the largest sex organ in the body, skin, earlobes, mouth, lips , breast and nipples follow. Stimulation of vagina opening is the most pleasurable aspect of woman. Short break during sex allow woman to re-experience initial entry. Organism is an event involving mind and body. for a woman, every time the stimulated stopped,during clitoral /vaginal orgasm, the orgasm is halted.

The main 2 reason of why women experience orgasm problem : 1. Not receiving enough pleasurable stimulation / 2. Something district them ( how they look,next day work,mate value and GUILT)

When we are in love, our brain show intense activity in area associated reward, and diminished activity in brain region associate with sadness and fear. Woman are less inclined the required love / emotional involvement before sex, sex/love are closely link for MEN.

Another motivation for women having sex is to form emotional connection. Woman want to have sex after a fight to re-establish connection. often women want to have sex after receiving below cue

  1. Erotic cues : Read /watch sexual story, talk dirty, sensing her body is aroused
  2. Status cue : see / talk with someone powerful
  3. Romantic cue : doing close, sharing dinner, laughter
  4. Emotional cue : bonding / connection

Human is the only primate engage in osculation, as kissing as it technically called, benefit of kissing include:

  1. reducing in anxiety
  2. information about health
  3. emotion test – if things should go next level

Massage is also a good way to gain connection, release of oxytoxin (the cuddle hormone), it posses anti-anxiety effect.

Definition of a alpha male by women ” Its that he is alphamale, he is aggressive, he is go getter, he doesnt take no for answer, he is confident, people respect him and create the whole mystique of who he is. “.

Women compete as fierce as man do when they want to get the desired man.

During most fertile phrase of their ovulation cycles, women wear more revealing clothing to attract male.

There are 12 words in English to describe slut, women use it to degrade others reputation thus make her harder to find a long term mate.

“Feeling of conquest ” is one of the sex motivation. Make her win over is a good strategy to let her feel good.

IN Polygamy , woman prefer to be the 2/3rd wife of a high status man, rather than the sole wife of a low-status man.

Provoking jealousy enter a women sexual motivation. Jealousy is to alert a person to a threat, devote attention and motivate action to ward off threat. In some cultures, flirting / kissing / sex elicit intense jealousy ; compare to dancing / hug / fantasy elicit weaker emotion.  Women in general provoke jealousy more than man do , by doing so woman do that through talking about  :

  1. how attractive other man find them
  2. Flirt with other man
  3. dancing with other man
  4. mention past relationship

When women are more committed to the relationship, they sort of provoke jealousy to see how the man react. Women rank honesty more than sexual fidelity, which man rank sexual fidelity more important.

Overly decline a PERSISTENT partner ‘s sex request is hard for women to do for sense of duty. Women do it for 1. Resolve conflict 2. Resolve different in sexual need 3. comply with partner ‘s desire. Women desire sex but reluctant to seek or ask for it.

A partner ‘s weight gain is a turn off, poor hygiene, frustrated / boredom due to partners who lack sexual skill and unwilling to learn,

Sense of adventure , woman will have sex simply out of curiosity – how he like in bed / is he live up to his sexual reputation / ethnicity. Sex also serve as a relationship screening test. Improving sex skill as a motive for sexual experience. Few characters for woman more eager to have casual sex : Extroversion, impulsiveness and narcissism.

Women are motivated to have sex to get what they want, in general women has disproportionate sexual power because

  1. For men who go for short term, low investment mating , women in many eyes are perceptual low supply.
  2. Sexual over-proportion basis – tendency yo over info women sexual interest on little information
  3. Standard of women who looking for man is generally higher than man looking for woman.

Friends with benefit is a passion, intimacy but no commitment combo. The biggest turn on is ” The person did not want more than sex from me”. Sexual pleasure is a major motivation, sex with a friend is a sense of trust, security and safety.

Sex for EGO boost. A young woman self-esteem is base on her sexuality, sexual experience and sexual appeal. People access how worthy they are in their / others people eyes. If a women wanna go for higher status, they might have sex with higher status man. Woman also use sex to move on from break up / rejection. In most of romantic novel – Prefect man use physical force to TAKE her sexually despite her protest and resistance. Forceful sex submission is a big fantasy in a sample of 900 woman, those woman who enjoy sexual force fantasies , are dominant, independent , high in self esteem.

Deception in sex : Most women seek emotional involvement before sex, women use delay to access a man to weed out deceiver. “Commitment skepticism bias” is woman normally underestimate a men’s true level of commitment. woman are not over impress by “easy to fake” signal.

Some women find its good to use sex as medicine, it can ease pain of menstruated cramp, chill out after a stress day, sometimes the anxiety turn them on and the fear of being alone.

Overall is a good book if you wanna further understand woman !

Check it out yourself >>>>Shop-Now-Button-copy





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