The Dangerous Passion : Why Jealousy is Necessary in Love and Sex by David Buss

Why Jealousy is Necessary ?

Jealousy is not a useless emotion, it motivate us to ward off rival with verbal threat and cold primate stares when someone try to rip your reproductive chances. In our mating ritual, first a potential had to pass a minimum threshold and we choose among those for an acceptable mate, after more individual preference, we come to our final choice. We use many energy in this process before we finally arrive the “lucky” one.

Its interesting that the way to a person heart is unexplained, i am in love because i cant help it. Love override rationality. Its the emotion that you wont leave when someone slightly more desirable come along. Intensity of men’s jealous provide a psychological cue that betrayal women’s desire for men other than regular partners.

What are the benefit for a women to cheat ? She can get more resources that affair partners may provide and the currency of quality genes. She could also have a mate insurance. Very often the difference in desirability can heighten the sensitivity to signal of infidelity in partner who has fewer outside options. Normally the more committed partners is generally less desirable.

There is a saying that a partner jealous as a sign of depth of love, a partner’s absence of jealous as lack of love. We should remember that negative emotions are tailored adaptive mechanism to serve our interest today . For example fear, like physical pain, although they feel unpleasant, they help us to avoid event that interfere or strategies of survival. Think about how we develop callus on skin

First we have input : Repeated friction which signal a threat and activate physiological procedure

Then we have response : a motion of chain event to produce a new type of skin cell

Finally we have output : Calluses are formed to provide protection for further repeated friction.

Therefore our negative emotion alert us to strategic interference.

The ability to ensure economic resources and posses athletic power are more central to men than women. Also on the theory of error management, evolution by selection will favor the inference that leads to the less costly error in order to avoid more costly error.

Women exceed men in some particular act of violence. Violence, when men lack of economic resources that might fulfill a core design of women initial mate choice. Stalking is a type of violence manifestation of mating strategy, represent a frantic desire to keep a partner.

In terms of fantasies, women have a thicker plot line. Emotion and personality are crucial for women. Women who perceived themselves as higher in mate value than their partner are more likely to express a desire for extramarital sex and more likely to act on those desires. The law of diminishing return also applied in dating, when the mating effort, the time and energy spent on enhance appearance may take a difference, to a point that not worth time or added expenses. A men’s attractiveness to women would influence his decision about how much effort to spend on mating.

When it comes to marriage, the martial satisfaction of all couple tend to gradual decline with length of marriage. For women things like love, intimacy, sharing, companionship would justify their affair.  People which personality like narcissists ( think they are special and more likely to ignore feeling of others. ), law of consciousnesses ( people that are unreliable, lack of self-control) and high on psychoticism (impulsive, lack of inhibitory control ) are higher chance to have affair.

If we look into why woman have affairs, natural selection could not forged a female psychology of infidelity if it fail to carry substantial advantages. Woman can have better gene from high value mating than from their regular mates, women just need to find other men sexy, knowing why is unnecessary. The qualities women want in one like stand including :1.Sexy 2.Desirable 3. Desire sex with you a lot 4. Sensuous 5. Physical attractiveness 6. Good Looking 7. think she is sexy 8. Great desire of her.

What benefits can woman get from affair partners ? firstly women feel better about themselves, and the affair partners respect them, also the new partners is interested in detail of her life, and he is emotional sensitive. Thinking her think ” he make me feel important ” and “make me feel intelligent” is a must beneficial aspect of an affairs.

Until next time !

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