Love 2.0 : Finding Happiness and Health in Moments of Connection by Barbara L. Fredrickson

How about……..a new version of ……….LOVE ?

Even the most potent emotion eliciting stimulus fade into background like wallpaper with repeated exposure.

When you learn to prioritize love, other positive emotion, you actually get out more of them. Love is an emotion, a momontry state that arise to infuse your mind and body. A micro-moment of love, like the positive emotion, literally change your mind.

Love blossom virtually anytime 2 or more people even stranger, connect over a shared positive emotion, be it mild or strong

We can make positive resonance from

  1. Mirror the positivity in each other emotion state
  2. Mirror the gesture/ bio-chemistry
  3. Mirror the impulse to care

Love’s second per-condition is connection, true sensory and temporary connection with another live being.

The main mode of sensory connection, is eye contact, most potent trigger for connection and oneness. Smile also give out the implicit understanding of smiling on true motive. Love require you to be physically / emotionally present. It also requires you to slow down.

Hearing somebody voice offer us an important channel of sensory and temporary connection. When positive emotion course through you, your awareness expand for your habitual focus on me to more “we”.

Everyone feel afraid / anxious/angry, people seem petty remote and separated from you. Positive resonance between brain, require only connection , not intimacy and shared history. Simply act of sharing an important secret from your life with someone increase your level of oxytocin.

Less stress hormone,it will disclosing your feeling, make more eye contact and friendly gesture.  Oxytocin appear both to claim fear and shape your skill for connection.

Vagus nerve are the connector between your heart and your brain. When our vagal tone is high, our capacity of love increase. Your heart rate speed up when you inhale and slow down when exhale. Through love, you become better version of yourself. And as you better yourself, you experience love more rapidly.

Your body are designed for love, and to benefit from loving.

Human brain function to limit your awareness to only those perception, idea and memories that useful for you survival at any given moment, eliminating all else. You can become convinced that your limit awareness represent the reality of the world.

Negative emotion normal people’s perception. Best way to convey appreciation, express focus on the present make the partner feel more understand, cared of and validated.

Resilient people are emotional agile. Their negative emotion rise and fall like a wave. Agility stem for steady diet of positive emotion.  Couple who experience high positive to negative emotion ration with each other are better navigate argument.

First tool to try  : Reflection on social connection

We first need to accept our-self fully before we can freely enjoy the many other fruit of positivity resource that we can share. Like number of reps, number of time you speak negativity to yourself each day build up a hardness.

While you faking your positivity, you are seeking a springboard into real thing. You are not reaping the benefit of genuine positivity.

Flexibility / openness / Realism , without it, positive self talk can become cold blooded narcissism.

Why we distort our-self from other good future ?

  1. Resentment and envy
  2. Self diminish-ment
  3. Utter indifference

Until  next time

Get the book here >> shop-now-button-copy

 

 

 

 

 

 

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